My tiny dancer and farmer

Day Three

Failed. Live in the present, unaffected by the past, detached from the future....I imagined butterflies flying from my chest and shoulders carrying all my stress away. ( a little cheesy I know ) then I came in with industrial strength bug spray and killed all the butterflies. All my stress and fear came rushing back inside and I could not get back to my place of calm. I think I'll try this one again tomorrow morning. I have felt out of sorts all day.

I will post some new pictures too!

Day Two

Meditated on ego. Question whether relationships, objects, ideas, etc I think I own are choices that are truly heart happy,

Day one

Deepak Chopra guided meditation. So relaxed I almost fell asleep during it. Hoping to help my anxiety without meds.

Fishing with dad

Sparkles

Therapy :p

Yesterday's appointment went well...I cried the whole time. I did so well I get to go back. :)

Side note baby Rory is here today
Finn is driving Maggie on his motorbike

My new toy

Wonderful inscription from Aaron...love you!

Help Please

Today is my first therapy appointment and i am very nervous.  What will happen and how much crying will I do.  As you can read, I didn't say will I cry.

Walk

Playtime

Rory

His first day with us...an adjustment for everyone

Tikka Masala

My babies are growing so fast

Maggie's birthday cakes

Awesomeness

Taft Humboldt Iowa

John Brown Park Humboldt Iowa

Park injury

Smiling because I do need this!

Okoboji

This is my new art piece bought off ebay...deflowered

Baby girl and I at Rorys Sip and See

Long night

Had a bad attack last night...still feeling jittery today.  Feeling light headed and hoping it just allergies.

I have decided after weeks of contemplating that I will not send Maggie to preschool this year.  She is only four and I think all day every day is too much. I might be acting selfish but that's fine.  She can start next year.

We went to signed Maggie up for preschool last night.  Where is time going? I don't know if I am ready for this, my heart hurts just thinking about it.  Will she find friends? Will I be able to handle the petty and mean fights girls have?  Yes, this is all about me!

Side note, I went to have chest xrays done last night.  I have lung congestion I just cannot get rid of, every possible bad scenario is going through my head.

Garden

Updated picture of our garden...the fall crop is popping up!